Family Values...sort of

I was listening to the Howard Stern Show today and got to thinking. Joey Buttafuoco was the guest and he was being questioned about possibly getting back together with Amy Fisher, now that they are both getting divorced. For those unfamiliar, they used to bone and Amy Fisher shot his then wife, Mary Jo, in the face. She lived, there was some jail time and there was plenty to read and write about. Anyway, a comment was made about his children that got me thinking about families. More directly, a possible difference between a sons and fathers from families that are together versus those that are divorced.

So here we go:

My parents are still married. My dad recently turned 60 and that is a scary age to me. When I see phone calls from my parents house, I always wonder if this is the call that will alter my life forever. I am terrified of losing one of my parents. They have always been wonderful to me and I feel they raised me really well. I don't really want to experience a life without them, but these are the facts of life. Anyway, I got to thinking about what it would be like if one of my parens were to die and then the living one were to start dating again sometime in the future. I'm curious how I would take to this person. The one thing I know is that I will never be out at a bar competing for girls with my dad...or introducing dudes to my mom....it's just not happening.

But what about the divorced couple with children? Buttafuoco has a 27 year old kid and they both live in LA. Joey is pretty famous, because in this country, you can be famous for fucking a cat and living to tell the story/do the jail time.

So here's what I am wondering: does a divorced son go pimping with a divorcee? can you imagine the unintentional comedy that might result? they could pimp the same girl and then trade stories/tips for getting the girl. you could get seconds and ask in the middle of coitus, "whose better? me or dad?"

what if your dad is in his 50s or 60s and you are 25, but he is one of those dudes who young girls are into...or that you can learn a hell of a lot from? is that awkward? i cringe at the thought of another person with either or my parents. i guess that is one of those things you need to come to grips with as a child of a divorced couple.

and then there is the child born to the unwed couple. i guess they deal with similar issues.

i don't know. this is just something i got to thinking about today. it's an odd topic i guess. i hope no one is offended by this...afterall, children from divorced families are sensitive about this i guess...you know, because they were the reason their parents split.

the parents might say they are not, but can you honestly think that a man can get the image of a split, bleeding, poop filled gash out of his head when the wife's coochie is all healed up and they can finally start bonin again? you serious?

because it's not his fault he was told to film that...and it's not his fault he didn't know he was only supposed to film from the waist up. it's your fault. it's your moms fault. fuck it...it's bert's fault. f u bert.