I can't be held responsible for the things I say or write...

5.11.2008

Happy Anniversery!!!!

No, not of the marriage or any of that. Happy one month since we've last sat and shared with each other. Below is a list of the thing that have kept us from spending some quality time together:

-wedding finalization/consummation...BONG

-Honeymoon - BONG again

-Work blocking the ability to login to the blog page

-Sheer laziness. If it makes you feel better, I've blogged almost as many times as I've run in the last month too.

SO, not much has happened to me in the past month except for the following:

-Mr. and Dr. Live are officially married. There was a ceremony, there was some dancing and there was some debauchery. Frisbee players out there will be happy to know the wedding frisbees will make their way around the world wide frisbee universe this summer. Feel free to pour lighter fluid on them and ignite them...we have extras.

-There was a honeymoon in which we discovered some things about ourselves, the world, etc (I'm apparently into using dashes, so I will dash inside of dashes):

-The American dollar is not worth very much in Venenzuela. It's a good thing we stayed at an all inclusive resort because everything was crazy expensive. For example, you know how sunscreen isn't cheap at CVS? Like, $15 a bottle when you really thought it would only be $5? Well, an eight ounce bottle where we were was roughly $25. It led me to this conclusion: I don't care who wins the democratic nominee. I don't care who wins the presidency. I care who will make the American dollar worth something so that when I go on vacation, I can spend wildly like people in other countries expect us to. As we spent time on the beach on our tropical vacation, we were approached about every 20 seconds by someone trying to sell us bracelets, massages, sunglasses, watches, oysters, all sorts of stuff. We were very pale, so that made us very popular. Anyway, it would have been great to back up that American reputation and spend spend spend, but it just wasn't worth the cost. SO, SO, SO, it's up to whoever gets elected to make this little situation we had to deal with go away. Fix the economy please...so maybe admit it's fucked first. Thanks. Political talk over.

-The German word for swimming pool is "Schwimmbad". It's fun to say. Schwimmbad. Germans are fun to laugh at and also really, really scary people. Well, mainly just around the water. Why? Because they all wear speedos, regardless of size, age or body type. Not just Germans to be honest, because there was a chunky French dude who wore one too and it was a nightmare because his crack was out literally for 2 straight hours. Why 2 straight hours? Well, we went on a snorkeling trip one day. You take a 45 minute boat ride on a small boat with 12 other people to get to the spot. We had to walk out to the boat in the water that was knee high at best. Of course, everyone had to get into their suits, so for all the euros, that meant taking off the shorts that make it to mid-thigh and exposing the schwimmbad suits that are nothing but balls and shaft...so bad that if you stare, first you see pubs sticking out around what's not covered and then you go blind.

Here's the scenario. We're on this small boat with 12 other euro folk. As previously mentioned, their all in their meat hangers. Dr. Live is sitting to my left, so as I turn to look at her, I see this 6'4 German dude with one leg up on a bench on the boat with a cigarette in one hand and a beer in the other. All there for the eyes to take it. So I turn and try to look straight ahead only to find what can only be described as Billy Idol in his schwimmbad suit sitting directly across from me. I'm serious. This guy was as tan as a white man can get, thus making him orange, wore 1980s raybans, had blond hair in a not so jewfro and my head almost exploded. It was my own personal hell.

-Yours truly has only 3 days of work left, meaning this wednesday is my last. We're all very excited to have this happen as I will have almost exactly one month off before....

-I sort of have a new job. I was accepted to NYC Teaching Fellows to teach Special Education. Why is it sort of? Well, this program will train me for 2 months, resulting in me acquiring my transitional B certificate to teach in the NYC public school system with a masters. The program also puts me in a master's program, so I will also be working towards a master's degree. Pretty sweet...almost entirely paid for too. So here are the catches:

-First off, I need to pass two qualification tests to show I'm knowledgeable to teach these kids. This makes me a little nervous because I don't remember math all that well and it's on the test. I need some serious cram sessions before I take these at the end of the month, but I should be OK. I got a couple of study guides and a hot tutor who does me because it's in the law, so I should pass.

-Secondly, I will need to find my own teaching position. They guide me and train me and what not, but I need to find vacancies, interview, do teaching samples and all that other fun stuff. The way the program works is they assign me a borough to work in. Before I can look for a position, they need to tell me where to look. Once that happens, I'll likely be in training, but they tell you not to interview during training...sweet. So that leaves two month in August before the school year starts to get my job. Slightly nerve wrecking, but I should be OK...seems like I'm saying that a lot recently.

-Which leaves us to the final update: QP Live the kickball team is currently ranked #8 in the country. AWESOME. But we lost on Thursday night. NOT AWESOME. We can't be too upset about it because we lost to the #3 team in the country, so we got that going for us. I hadn't pitched since the end of last season and was pretty rusty. In traditional unclutchness that I am famous for, the inning after we tied up the game, I walked in what proved to be the winning run. Nicely done. What's really sweet is that it's 4 days later and I can almost use my arm again. But what's really sweet is that I can say, "Man, my lats are killing me" and it's actually true. Probably the best part of kickball.

So that's me. I'm sure I'll be on this piece updating with possible going away party information or any of that fun stuff. For now, all I know is that I am going our drinking with some work people on Wednesday night somewhere, so maybe I'll throw some information about that up here and maybe you can come and I will be there and together we can discuss all things schwimmbad.

And here's a picture of a lizard at our resort. You need to turn your head as it is sideways.

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