I can't be held responsible for the things I say or write...

9.29.2009

Dumber for having read that...

That's an appropriate way for me to feel right about now. I just read a story about how a suspect, thought to be an army vet, stabbed another person to death because they bumped shoulders while walking past each other. Apparently, witnesses say the 2 men were taking off their coats as if preparing for a fight and then the vet stabbed the other dude to death.

So, I'm dumber for reading this story to begin with. I'm dumber because if you believe any of these accounts without considering the source (NY Post) you should be shot.

Then, I read the comments and I realize there is no helping anyone in our society. Seriously. The quotes talk of people feeling they made the right life decision to leave NYC because people took their coats off to fight. No, that's right. That's the last straw. I can't believe someone took his coat off prior to a fight. I'm done. I'm so glad I left NYC because if I hadn't, that would be the last straw.

Then you have the guy who makes the connection between stabbing someone over a shoulder bump and obnoxious Yankees fans...seriously I didn't see the connection but this guy is right. Dude was supposed to go to the Yankees game but got too drunk and then decided he needed to stab someone...what the fuck is wrong with people.

Then there is the typically racist talk which is amazing that people are that racist or feel the need to share it....and then there are the commentators names. "Mets4eva21" brings some hilarious thoughts to mind. I mean, I'm a big Yankees fan but I've never made any sign on name based on the team. I've never tattooed anything to my body in utter devotion to a professional sports team or anything like that either. I'm pretty accepting for the most part...that is, until someone brandishes an awful tattoo or wear one of those shirts that shares his or her lifestyle choices. We all have them and have seen others in them. I feel like we're allowed to stare in these situations. For example, when I wear my "Volunteering...It doesn't pay" shirt, I have no right to wonder what people are looking at...they're reading my t-shirt and it takes some folks longer to read stuff.

Like homeless people usually need more time. Or my cousin Rodney's little retarded sister...it takes her a while to read t-shirts. You might wonder why, right? Mainly because she is only 5 and never learned to read.

OK, confession time. I have no cousin named Rodney and he does not have a little retarded sister but this is the first one of these in a while and I had to throw some shock and awe in there.

But there is definitely a Rodney out there with a little retarded sister. It's science. If 1 out of every 12,132 people is named Rodney and of those 12,123 Rodney's, 47 of them have little retarded siblings and of those 45 siblings, 19 of them are girls...so you see how the numbers play out here. It's science.

Now you might be saying the numbers keep changing and that's true...because science is forever changing. Regardless of me changing a few numbers here or there, the facts remain the facts...after all, my changing of the numbers can easily be attributed to the always changing nature of science and I think I should be commended for staying so in touch with the present. I'm so in the moment that I can be understood. It's hard to be me.

Actually, lately it's been all right. School is back is session but things are going fine. Also, I lost like 15 points in the last 3 weeks and am officially not all that fat anymore. That's right. I'm back in frisbee shape...sort of. I'm sort of frisbee skinny but really I'm just on a diet. South Beach Diet, bitches. It's pretty sweet...but no fucking frisbee on the horizon. eff that.

2 Comments:

Blogger Beef Supreme said...

I have the Volunteering shirt, too! Vindication!

2:36 PM

 
Blogger matt.s.mclaughlin said...

If your cousin Rodney had a little retarded sister, wouldn't she be your cousin, too?

Just sayin'.

10:17 PM

 

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