When it is finally OK

It's not right to hit a woman. It's not right to hit anything of the female gender for the most part. However, like any rule, there are always exceptions. When it comes to beating your wife, in today's culture, at least in what us damn yankees consider today's culture, you really have no excuse ever to beat your wife...unless, like me, you watched Monday night's episode of 24.

You see, the president had a choice: give up the russian prime minister's motorcade route or have centox gas detonated in america, killing hundreds of thousands...Obviously, you take 2 casualties over hundreds of thousands. the president made a tough call and probably the same one the russian president would have made had he been in that situation.

what does martha do? she gets in the motorcade with the russian prime minister and wife. as a result, aaron, the secret service guy, aka the reason jack bauer is free right now and walt cummings hung himself, has to go with her. what a bitch.

so the president finds out what the wife has done and now he is in the position of sacrificing his wife or hundreds of thousands of american citizens. he does the right thing...he assumes the bitch is gone and while wallowing in self pity, has enough decency to be pissed at her even while he is looking at old photos of her.

in the end, CTU finds out about the threat and gets an alert to secret service. a shoulder fired missile blows up the front of the russian pm's car and aaron is knocked out, possibly dead. he comes to as some chechnian dude is firing a flame thrower at a flame retardant car and shoots the terrorists around the car...aaron is the man, martha is a slutbong.

so the president finds out martha and the pm are ok. episode ends.

if i were the writer or the president, here is what i would do:

me: "martha, i'm glad you're alive. what you did was stupid"
martha: "i had t...OUCH, WHAT THE...OUCH...OUCH...OUCH"
me: "like i said, i'm glad you're ok because i personally want to beat the ever loving piss out of you for fucking with my business"

i would then proceed to beat her unmercifully about the face and face (highway style). i'd go easy on the face because you can only explain so much to the press. but i would beat her feet to the point where no doctor would be able to fix that shit without at least 5 surgeries. smack smack smack crakalalalalalalala. seriously, there is never a time to beat your wife unless she completely fucks you over like on 24. why, you ask, beat the feet? you ever hurt your foot before? it hurts like a bitch to walk...try having two busted feet....get in your wheelchair...for a long time. sit and think about why you are a dumb bitch.

you know what, i know it is a show and all, but i think the writer needs a beating for putting that in there.

also, if GwB were to beat tipper gore or whoever his wife is because she pulled some shit like this, i would vote for him for 4 more years...why? because you can mess with a man's business from time to time, but you don't put your stank ass inbetween hundreds of thousands of people who didn't try to save the russian pm...who will no doubt now pull some shit because no one is that stupid to not figure out just how the chechies got the motorcade route.

this is my worst post ever.