MAKE IT STOP!

boredom does not begin to explain what i feel right now. i just took a tape roll and slowly unrolled it until it was at a length where i could throw it across to my officemate. it didn't reach but at least it made a really loud noise...mission accomplished. but why stop there? why not run around my office screaming make it stop so someone realizes how miserable this is...most. boring. project. ever. print, then watch the page numbers slowly tick by...then print...repeat that 200 times and then move down your list of 80 people and repeat. it's 4:31 pm...i've been printing since 3 pm. what do i do when i am done printing? scan everything and save it to our system and then file it. so that's 3 places where this information is stored. there is a giant wad of tape surrounding me right now...i think it goes well with my shirt because clear goes great with purple. that's right, purple shirt with matching purple tie. what? wanna fight about it? i'm pretty sure my black pants with grey stripes don't go with the shirt but i could care less because i'm printing and you don't need to look good to print. i bet you're saying, "you could read the internet while you wait"...no, i can't. i can read one page at a time. can't change addresses, can "goto next page", can't go "back"...just have to read the advertisments on the side and they're really not entertaining at all.

then, after 1.5 hours i realize i started a blog for these very reasons...then i realized the blod will be terrible because there is no good rant other than boredom from printing and that's boring...holy redundancy. now you know how i feel.

i just pushed print on a 296 page document. 50 pages takes about 4 minutes...you do the math, i'm too bored to think.

nothing exciting has happened to me today at all. yesterday i woke up to some woman having an orgasm on the howard stern show...that was quite an awakening...today, nothing like that happened...had some cereal, got on the metro, nothing fun happened there. got into work, no emails to read, worked out, came back, sat down, stood up, ate, sat down, stood up, drank, sitting down, throwing tape, typing, boring you with my boredom.

is anyone still reading? i'm just going to type and hope i say something funny so that i amuse myself. if i could post a picture on this it would be of a blank piece of paper to fully express the excitement in my life. i can see the sales pitch:

and here we have a blank piece of paper!!!! intricately designed with nothing on it! supplies are not limited because this is what i will be working on for the next 2 weeks!

man, don't you wish i could post pictures.

the pace is picking up. 96 pages in 5 minutes. at this rate i could be out of her in april and that ain't bad.

have i asked you to kill me yet? i think it did.

if you're still reading you have officially entered verbal diahrria...that and how the hell do you spell diahhria? is that right? i would spell check but the spell check on this thing is just not worth it. i don't think i have used one capital letter yet and that means it will pick up every word at the begining of a sentence...wow, now i can't spell words i could spell in 2nd grade...in spell check "2nd" would get picked up...shoot me. right in the part of the head where spelling is so at least i have an excuse.

are you really still reading. i did get an amazing forward today from my sister's boyfriend, also known as my roommate...i can say that because no one is reading...hey that was funny.

the forward was a point system you can get at work by doing annoying things. for example, you can get 3 points for walking around with your fly down and when someone informs you of this, you say, "i know, that's the way i prefer it"...40 year old virgin:
son: "i really prefer vaginal intercourse"
dad: "he really does"

scary.

anyway, another is you sprint a full lap around your office..not happening. i think my favorite is paging yourself over the intercom...that's just brilliant. i think a more feasable one is walking into the kitchen and drinking straight from the water cooler spout...people have to be in there to witness it for points, but it's a good idea. especially if there are 5 people in there as there usually are...man, that would go over about as well as ciphillis...and that doesn't go over well. you ever hooked up with someone with ciphillis? it goes kind of like this:

"why are you acting so crazy"
"oh that? that's just the ciphillis...it's cool, i'm in the tertiary stage so there is no cure at this point? wanna touch my penis?"
"umm, no thanks, i don't want to catch it"
"maybe you didn't hear me...tertiary stage..HELLO. if you don't touch my penis i'm going to go looney and kill you and if you do touch my penis i'm g