lay off me, I'm sensitive

so that title literally popped in my head and i decided i should just go with the flow and there you have it.

i've started to recover from the middle of my helacious? week. wednesday night we had practice and it was tough. it was over 90 degrees out, the humidity was visible and it was windy. so running was hard and throws were not all that good...BUT we got called out by one of the players on Johnny Bravo, the host team of the Colorado tournament, so we felt like we needed to work our asses off. we ran hard, got on each other to work harder and generally gelled really well for the first time all season. for the first time when we brought it in for a huddle, it felt like a team and not just a group of talent trying to do the bare minimum to be successful. one can only hope this continues.

and onto other topics. i thought it might be fun to periodically try to explain a little about the way i am. for the last few weeks, i keeping remember random things that happened to me in my youth to solve to ever so important question of why i am the way i am. sometimes i think that i try to be loud and funny because i was a fat kid growing up. i figured i wouldn't be fast and therefore never be a star athlete, i figured i'd never get chicks based on looks because if you could tittie fuck yourself, why waste the breath / why would any chick want to see that....unless a really freaky chick. but try being a fat kid and bring home some really hot chick. no way anyone is going to buy the "on personality alone" reason as to why this girl is going to hang out with you...and then everyone in your family is going to know you're some kind of sex deviant or boning some kind of sex deviant...and honestly, boning a sex deviant using a deviancy that is not your deviancy or fetish is just the ultimate form of pathetic. if you're going to be into some freaky shit, you need to be all about it. i'm talking posters on the wall, no shame about it. but being a party to some wild shit without getting anything out of it is just wrong. wrong wrong wrong.

so i guess that's why i try to make the funny. if you can make a chick laugh, you can do pretty much anything to her...legally speaking of course. check out the historic case ralph v. cat's breath.

so today i guess we will start from a young age.

my age was about 5 or 6. it was either thanskgiving or christmas and we were driving back from my grandparent's house who lived about 15 minutes away. for those of you that don't know the Live family structure, there is my older brother (by 6 years) and then two older sisters (by 4 and 2 years). that made me the baby in every sense of the word. i'm not totally sure of this since no one keeps statistics on this issues, but i'm pretty sure i either cried every night from something one of my siblings did to me or ratted my siblings out to my parents every night and then cried due to the retribution, more than any other kid ever.

so we're driving back from my grandparent's house when one of my siblings tells me that my parents are ignoring me because they're not really my parents. not believing them, i ask my parents if this is true...they must have had enough of me by this point in the night because there was no response. then i'm informed, i believe by my brother, that i was left on the doorstep by gypsies. shocked, offended and still not believing this, i ask my parents for confirmation and still get no response. then my sisters work in on me and at that point, it's game over and there is nothing my 6 year old brain can do but almost accept it. they worked most angles like, "why don't you look like the rest of us" and other such topics that blatantly aren't true (i don't think at least?) and with no help from the parents, it's all i can do but accept this new life of mine.

my gypsy parents never did come for me but i did spend quite some time trying to determine if they were messing with me or not. for years after that my siblings would continue to tell me i was left on the doorstep and this was not my real family. it worked pretty damn well i have to say. especially when my siblings friends would see me around campus and play along in the joke as well.

so maybe that is just the start of my problems. my gypsy parents didn't love me enough and now i seek affection from everyone in the world...if someone doesn't give it to me, they symbolize my bastard gypsy parents who just left me.