I can't be held responsible for the things I say or write...

7.05.2008

Grinded Gears

You know what really grinds my gears?

French families who ask me to stand up on the train and find a new seat so that they can sit together with their newborn baby.

OK, so maybe that's not the worst thing ever, but come on. It's not like the train was packed to the point where there were no seats at all. There were seats in the same area together, like two aisle seats open and they wouldn't technically be next to each other but they still would, you know? Anyway, it only gets better. So I'm doing my homework like a good boy on the train on the way from the city to the land of suburbia. Obviously, because this is what you do when you are really lazy and don't want to take the elevator from floor 27 to floor 2 to do your laundry, you have it all squeezed into a suitcase that rests above your head on the train. Naturally, this bag is above my head and with the crowding train, my backpack with computer is up there too.

So French lady comes over and is all, "frenchity frenchity french french french" and I'm all like, "I'm sorry what?" and then she's all "Dude I'm french, give me a break" so I'm like, "That's pretty fucking ridiculous" and then she's all "No words, just stares" and I'm all, "Fuck it and fuck you". Needless to say, I was in a worse mood than I thought.

So basically, here is how it works. The train is pretty crowded to begin with and I know eventually I'll have someone sitting next to me, but the train is pretty big, so i'm ok with it. I also tell myself there is little to worry about since I'm on the aisle and whoever wants to sit with me will get to sit on the inside, so I'll be comfortable either way. So about 2 stops into the ride, the Frenchies are hanging out in the aisle walking 2 steps in one direction, then 2 in another with the occasional bump into the shoulder, even though their not a big people. And smell...true to stereotype. I look behind me a few times to see what the deal is and I see a bunch of open aisle seats, so I'm kind of wondering if these people are just going to stand the whole time. Then the french chick taps me on the shoulder with the "Excuse me, would you mind finding another seat so that my husband and I can sit together? You see, we have a baby." Immediately, I'm like you can go fuck yourself for trying to pull that "have some sympathy for me because I'm fertile act" and I want to say no...instead, I ask, "Where should I go sit?" to which she responds, "You can go sit anywhere else." So now I'm thinking not only does she want me seat, but she wants to have some attitude about it and also dismiss my existence to the point where I can just wander up and down a crowded train to find a new seat. Yes, I've said already that there are all open seats all over the train that I am aware of, including the one right behind me, but I wanted to be difficult...and I kind of wanted to pull the old "why me" act too.

So I'm not too happy...also, as stated before, this is when I realize I'm not in that good of a mood for who knows what reason. So after she drops that, "You could sit on the track and the train could run you over for all I care" line, I follow up with my last ditch effort of "Well, these bags up here are mine" to which I get a stare. I let the stare go for like a second and then decide to pop up and sit right behind where I was just sitting. I guess I just wanted to be difficult, or maybe I just wanted them to go away...mostly, I just wanted those fucks to do what any regular person would do and suck it up and sit next to each other in the aisles. You french fuckwad.

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