midgets, gnomes and kickball

i played kickball last night. i watched for 30 minutes before my team got to play. i decided while i was waiting that i hate organized kickball. why? the rules. the rules are a mess. first of all, a foul does not count as a strike as it does all normal variations of baseball. you get 4 balls, 3 strikes and 4 fouls. it's terrible. to be honest though, you kind of need the four fouls. why? because you can pitch however the hell you want. to me, kickball is fun because someone kicks the ball and the fielders scrammble all around. in "fun" kickball, the ball is rolled in, maybe fast, maybe slow, but flat and on the ground, and the "batter" kicks the ball, people chase after, someone runs around the bases, (codrea may or may not try to start a fight) and everyone has fun. but in this shitstank version of kickball, you just throw the ball however you want towards the plate. overhand, sidearm, left nut, it doesn't matter, so long as you take the fun out of it before anyone even gets on the field. it's fucking kickball people, roll the ball, kick the ball, catch the ball, drink the beer, bone the ugos and marry the pregos.

as for midgets...they're not tall, but it's not their fault. truth is, their parents made fun of midgets when they were young and as a result, had a "little person" instead of a "standard" child. little known fact about midgets though: when they are born, they are born at full growth. you ever met a midgets mom? neither have I...why? because if you gave birth to a fully grown little person, it would likely kill you too. this is where prostitutes have an advatage...much like nick naylor's smoking saving his life when he was covered in nicotine patches, a prostitute is good and "loosy goosy" and therefore can handle a full grown midget birth.

now a midget born not fully grown is a gnome. they don't have villages for gnomes but they do for midgets...why? because midgets have an amazing sense of humor.

you can learn a lot from a little person, i guarantee it.

935, not one jonny