I should write a book

As a former, likely to one day return to, fat kid, I spend a lot of my free zoning out time thinking about random things. I'm very happy to not be the fat kid that growing up everyone thought I was going to be. I used to see the skinny, fast kids with no shirts on (assholes) running around all fast and not fat and be jealous. Once I hit my growth spurt, combined with a high school athletic program that makes kids run 2-4 miles before 2 hour practices 2-3 times a week, I started losing all the fat and turning into a poster child for losing weight without wasting money on Jenny Craig, Weighwatchers or by watching MTV and seeing all of those people who have insane bodies yet no explanation for why it is.

Anyway, I used to fear the freshman 15 but I got that fear out of the way by gaining 10 pounds of it in between high school graduation and freshman year. Then i put on a few more during the first semester. I always knew I was going to put on that weight, but thanks to a steady diet of sleep until 3 pm, go to practice until 6 and then eat dinner and nothing else, I was able to lose all the weight.

General aging and college lifestyle naturally added a few more man pounds but all the exercise helped keep it off for the most part. Then came the biggest challenge to keeping the weight off since Eazy Cheese: College graduation.

Never before had I had extended periods of no exercise. In fact, I was blessed that I would exercise 3-5 times a week just for frisbee in college. Even today I don't get that much in as we did in school.

So right out of college I put on some weight by not really realizing how hard it is to keep it off. That sandwich and chips combined with nothing catches up to you. For a little while I was doing light lifting and using an elliptical machine for about 15 minutes 4 times a week. It really did nothing. Then came the hardest part of all: Office Job.

This is what I should write my book about...though, it'd be shorter than a pop up book because it would come to about 3 pages in total.

I used to see people who graduated before me come back a good neck thicker than when they left school. Reason was obvious, they sat at a desk all day and rarely would run or anything after work. Why run when you haven't been able to drink and watch TV all day, right? So these kids would gain weight and I was unable to avoid it as well.

When my current team originally started in 2005, I had to start from scratch and map out what I called a 3 year plan. I knew that the first year all I was good for was to go for about 3-4 runs a week to get my body used to exercise again. I didn't want to be extremely sore because when I was, I felt like my bones were going to collapse beneath me. So I did this for one season and did not perform well on the field.

Going into season 2 I had taken less than 2 weeks off since the previous one had ended. I had been running and had added lifting to my regime. During the season I stopped lifting but started doing running workouts that included stairs and sprints. I lost a bunch of weight but didn't really get to play that much due to a more talented team. However, I kept reminding myself of the 3 year plan. The hope was that if I kept working I'd be at a point where I felt like I did in college, meaning I was confident enough in my abilities to compete.

So here we are in season 3. I'm where I wanted to be. Right now, on top of 2 weekly practices, I have a stairs workout night and an additional sprint workout night. I am lifting 2-4 days a week as well. I've played more points this season than I did all of last season and I'm helping make an impact as a role player on my team. Add to that I'm on the 13th ranked kickball team in the country (QP Live, biatch).

So basically, I'm happy with the way things have turned out so far.

I want to write this book, rather I say I want to write this book but it will not happen and that's fine with me. I basically wrote I want to write this book because it worked as a title.

I have a few friends who are new to the office world and a few co workers who are in a similar situation to what I worked through. Start a new job, sit at a desk, eat what you like and then all of a sudden you put on the weight. What I'd like to tell them and counsel them on is recognizing what is now different in your life. You don't have the hours of free time spent going to the gym, running around, talking to hoes (which burns more calories than running, fyi...at least for me because I still sweat like a fat kid and have fat kid confidence when it comes to talking to random hoes...Read, sweat a lot)...fatty

So you have to change the way you eat. I know people that skip meals and eat a big lunch and then maybe a big dinner. I've found that the easiest way for me to eat a small lunch, which I think is the most important thing you need to do to keep the weight off, is to eat something small for breakfast. Cereal or a yogurt or something. While I was knocking the weight off, I ate homemade small salads every day with vinaigrette dressings. I usually went overboard at dinner but by that point, I had already gone for a run that day. I found it important to try and do this 4-5 days a week to lose weight/keep it off.

As you get older, your body wants to turn you into tubby bitch and I want to keep that away for as long as humanly possible. It worked for me and I see my friends desiring to keep their own weight down, so here's what worked for me...good luck.

Well there is this and then the frisbee player mentality. I play frisbee with a bunch of people who are constantly saying our team needs to get in shape and work harder. It's true in the frisbee sense of the world...but we have players ranging from age 23-42 on our team who play 7 games in 2 days in 90 degree temps or at 6000 feet and walk away to tell the story. We run for 8 hours, get up and do it again and say we're not in shape. It's ludicrous....yet it's one of the reasons I'm proud of what I do.

I play ultimate frisbee. People at work call me "Boarder Collie" because they claim a dog can do what I do. First of all, I had a dream last night that I kicked a dogs ass, so no f-ing way is a dog doing what I do better than me. bitch.

secondly, to the people who call me out for what I do, I always tell them I will play them in any sport at any time and beat them. my reasoning is that they will never ever ever be able to keep up with me for the length of the game we play. While everyone starts out fresh, I rarely do. Once I warm up, which takes me about 10-15 minutes of constant running, I can run someone around for about an hour. It's how I compete in events where my skills are not as polished as other people.

I like going into random sporting events, like a volleyball game at a family picnic or a pick up basketball game, and establishing myself as one of the better players out there. I use this confidence to help me win these contests and it feels damn good to do that...try it some time.

I was up in NYC for the past 5 days, so I should have more for you in the coming days about the level of depression I currently am suffering through and my chicken cutlet withdrawal.