I can't be held responsible for the things I say or write...

8.13.2007

someone please explain this to me...

as i am not one of those people who should ever have their shirt off in public, i don't comprehend the people who i see running outside, clearly with no shirt in their possessions. today i saw a tall, slender male running with one of those things that goes around your chest, just under your nipples. i can only assume this is some sort of pedometer part and not a manzerre...though i could be mistaken.

after i saw that guy, i saw a smaller, less skinny man wearing the same device, only this probably did give the man a little more support only a toadstool needs...but still.

that makes no sense. he should have had a shirt on, ok. that's what i am trying to say.

anyway, so this guy is not wearing/carrying a shirt. this was down by the lincoln memorial, though that is completely unnecessary information but my editors have word minimums.

nope. not true.

anyway, do people who are more ab gifted than i generally feel that if they are going to go running, they should just leave the shirt at home? isn't that a little odd? i have to assume that a lot of the people out there running with no shirts on live in apartments...i have to assume this otherwise this next part doesn't work and i'm all about coherency...what if you live on the 5th floor? do you take the elevator? just on the way down but not on the way back up? no shirt means lots of sweat everywhere. i wear a shirt and this happens to me all the time. but there have to be too many awkward moments prior to the illusion in your head that tells you you should take your shirt off while running somewheres and once you return to wherever you live, no doubt sweaty as a fat kid who just heard the ice cream truck and had to make one of those Ferris Bueller's Day Off type sprints to make it to the truck in time...which, if it's the fat kid i'm thinking of and the truck is 1 block away, we're talking about a see through shirt once all is said and done. fatty. fatty fat fat fat.

i guess if there were ever a time in my life where it was appropriate to be in public with no shirt on that i would understand better, but i just don't get it.

what really grinds my gears though are the really serious runners who wear no shirt and short shorts. those guys are just crossing a line. it's like if a woman were to go running in a string bikini. put some clothes on dude. you make me want to inject you with prime rib...no homo.

4 Comments:

Blogger Tim said...

As someone who has definitely ran with no shirt on. Id like to say that its definitely cooler. As you sweat and you move fast it cools you off. But it sucks when you dont bring any shirt because then you have nothing to wipe your forehead sweat off with and it gets in your eyes. WHich is just nah. Another no shirt benefit is the tan, I like having a good tan and why not double task running and getting sun at the same time?

7:18 AM

 
Blogger HerrSlam said...

I think I can shed some insight here. As a guy who wears a shirt perhaps 20-30% of a given day (while in class, is about it), the default for me is the opposite of the question you're asking. I take it as a given that life is better shirtless (less impediments, no fetters). So the question you have to ask is: why should I wear a shirt?

Sometimes the mandates of public decency impose their will upon me and I submit; but more often I do my thing and let the world adjust. And I solve Tim's problem by wearing a headband.

To decide whether it's social pressure making me decide one way or another, I imagine: "If NO ONE else were around, would I wear a shirt?" The answer is invariably "no" and I act accordingly.

And I don't get offended when I see other shirtless folk (or "my brethren"). Rather, I pity the fools who are confined to cotton all day long, even to the extent of wearing it while exercising in the great outdoors. Sad, truly. Be free, man! Shed them clothes!

8:45 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WHere'd you go?

10:36 AM

 
Blogger Ben said...

Posting as Herr Slam on the original Mr. Slam's blog?

I like doing sprints/track workouts without a shirt on. Longer runs I like a shirt.

8:48 AM

 

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