I can't be held responsible for the things I say or write...

11.07.2007

Abby and Steve at a B&B

B-O-N-I-N-G

They got married...recap time biotch! A little delayed and probably a lot forgotten. The good times.

For me, the wedding prep started at 3 pm on Friday as we tried to get to Potomac, MD for the 4 pm rehearsal. Being DC, this proved impossible. After an hour of traffic, going right when we should have gone left, no numbers on any signs and a church hidden behind construction and trees, we arrived at 4:35, just for the very end of the ceremony. In an effort to blend in in no way shape or form, I couldn't help but call one of the groomsman out for wearing jeans. Not that I cared he was wearing jeans, more than anything I was jealous, but it was just a knee-jerk reaction (#1 of the weekend). To add to this, it's not like I waited for a break in the rehearsing before blurting this out either. I just said it the second I felt in....asshole.

Moving on to the rehearsal dinner, of which we had no trouble getting to, we enjoyed a fine feast in the Admiral Room of Old Ebbit Grill. If you've never been there before, treat yourself one day. I recommend lunch, as there are plenty of affordable options there then. Typically, you can get a delicious meal for $15 or less. Much less for a burger or sandwich and around $15 for an entree type plate. I work right by the restaurant, so I've been there a bunch for lunch. This was my first dinner there and it was great. The room we were in had its own bar, fully stocked, and we had the choice of crab cakes or NY Strip steak. I stripped it up and it was big...and delicious.

After dinner, we all hit up one of the Old Ebbit bars where we took over fairly easily. Of course, this is a classy restaurant, so they do things like refuse to serve a person another beer who is working on a full beer...especially after the person with the full beer accuses the bartender of being racist for asking for id. oops. Also, they don't care if you're getting married the next night, you're still not allowed to engage in yelling contests. Damn classy establishments. The line of the night goes to one of the groomsman who said, after being bumped into and receiving a choice comment from another patron, "how about i jerk off all over your face." First of all, that's just an amazing line to come up with out of the clear blue. Secondly, that's a very simple way to escalate matters. Since I am always aware when troubles abrewing (my own spidey sense) I turned around to the guy yelling and pointing at the groomsman and say nothing more than, "Walk away, it's a wedding". I turn back to my conversation with Saint Balog who informs me she is shocked to see me playing the mediator. What can I say, I guess I'm growing up?

Of course I'm not. That night ended with an hour straight of MarioKart where I obviously dominated the competition....and we worked in a Mac & Cheese break.

Saturday started off pretty sweet. I woke up and played some MarioKart again with Bach and Milf. Off to breakfast we went and then off to the hotel I went to get to the church early. We arrived at the church about an hour and a half before the wedding so that we could relax, get pictures taken, eat a little and drink some champagne. We were told no men were allowed upstairs to ensure that no one would see the bride. Naturally, when the ladies went out in the garden to get their pictures taken, they were right outside our window. Immediately, I start yelling, Wurtzel jumps up into the window and bangs on it in an effort to scare the beJesus out of them and the others tell Steve not to look left as they close the blinds. Before the blinds closed, however, we got a wonderful show of 7 bridesmaids moving as one to completely surround the bride and make her invisible to even a spy satellite. Great job done by all.

So the wedding started late because one of the shuttles "got stuck in traffic" and was an hour late for a pick up. I've yet to be at a wedding where the shuttles knew what the fuck they were doing, so I'm going to go ahead and say they are liars and can go f themselves.

However, the wedding goes wonderfully and then people are off to the reception. The wedding party stayed behind to take some pictures. When the guys were done, one of the groomsman serenaded us with some music stylings on the piano...of RBI Baseball, Kid Icarus, Zelda and many more Nintendo games. Then he moved onto TV shows and I could have died happy then and there. Apparently, he can listen to a song and just be able to play it. It was an amazing performance not soon to be forgotten.

And off to the reception we go. It was at a nice French restaurant in Potomac and went extremely well. There were drinks, dinner, dancing and all the other D words you can think of that go with a wedding. I'd love to tell you about this story or that story that occurred at the wedding, but I don't think anything too hilarious happened. Everyone had a great time and generally I don't think a wedding could go any better...

The after party was at a wine bar at 22nd and P and I can say that we entered the gay ghetto and walked out without bleeding out of any of our orifices. Generally, a great night always happens when you don't leak blood.

YIKES.

Sunday meant brunch at 10:30, but also meant that the clocks fell back so we woke up way to early...no worries though, that left plenty of time for MarioKart.

The brunch was a good time. A bunch of people were there and it's always fun to catch up with all of the out of town guests before everyone leaves you and depresses you for 3 days. Knee-jerk reaction #2 of the weekend occurred when a girl came in wearing a black coat that had numerous pockets all outlined in white. To me, she looked like the skeleton costume used in the karate kid...however, due to my hungover/caffeine infested state, I blurted out "That's the ugliest coat I have ever seen."

It would have gone over a lot worse had my entire table not turned at once and stared at the girl. At first, she was unsure if it really happened, but then she saw everyone looking at her and we made eye contact for a few seconds. She left.

I felt bad because I didn't dislike the coat all that much, but it just came out...is that why it's called a knee-jerk reaction? Probably...but also probably not. Interesting.

That's pretty much where everyone said their goodbyes and hugged it out like champs.

I went up to Adams Mill a few hours later and watched football. Highlights included:

1. 30 seconds after I get there (at 2:30) a Redskins fan verbally assaults a Patriots fan. Then a friend of his who is a Cowboys fan says something in his ear and the Skins fan proceeds to pick up a stool in an attempt to chase him around the bar. The stool top breaks off, but the guy picks up the stool anyway but is restrained by the bartender...and fed a shot. Interesting philosophy/this is why I love this bar. This was the largest and loudest guy in the bar, so when he spoke, everyone listened/pissed themselves. He was pretty friendly...even when he told Chaz that he gets half of everything Chaz gets because they live in the same neighborhood and nothing happens without his consent...that includes women, money and apparently chicken wings. This guy was pretty awesome.

2. The aforementioned Pats fan decides during the Pats/Colts game that he is going to talk shit to Chaz because, apparently last week, Chaz said the Skins could beat the Pats. Because no one likes this kid, the entire bar turns on him (which, at this point, is 15 Skins fans, most in jerseys, and all wasted). He starts talking shit for the sake of talking shit and the bartender has to come over and settle the situation down...which he does until he starts calling the kid a bitch. But you can fight/argue with the bartender, so we all laugh at this end for about an hour straight. He gets the last laugh because the Pats won, but no one really cared about the game.

3. Abby's parents came to the bar for about 30 seconds. Abby's mom looked absolutely terrified and they left just as soon as they came. Either way, it was nice to seem them show up.

4. Chris Bach was at the bar and told me I should have warned him more about the situation we were walking into. Basically, this is a bar of alcoholics...I mean, who else gets hammered on a Sunday? And they are also big and loud, which makes this bar amazing. The only way I remember any of this is because I drove so I would not get wasted.

So that was the wedding recap. Over even sooner than the wedding itself.

1 Comments:

Blogger Beef Supreme said...

Excellent. I'm kinda glad I was not at Adams Mill because few people can rile me up about sports like Chaz, and then I would've had the whole bar mad at me when it was all Chaz's fault. I think this comes from the fact that he is a soulless (read: from LA) sports fan who doesn't actually understand what it means to really like a team. Like he'll talk shit to you after you watch your team lose agonizingly and ruin your life (the team, not Chaz) for a week. He doesn't get what's wrong about that. So there. But that can be an argument for another day. I miss you QP. You my only friend. I'll hopefully be down in a couple of weeks, but it might have to wait until January cause there's so much crap planned between now and then.

3:22 PM

 

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