debate amongst yourselves

some things are not worth arguing over. some things are not worth bringing up at all. for example, when all you want is another pitcher of amstel light (because it was on special...generally it's a disgusting beer) try not to let your kobe bryant loving friend get into a debate with an over matched bartender who apparently hasn't watched a pro basketball game since 2004 over who is the best player in the league. A) cleary it's Kobe and B) it adds 5 minutes to getting your refill.

but let's go over a few debates and analyze what they mean.

first debate:

Sheetz v. Wawa.

For those that don't know, the great Commonwealth of Pennsyltucky is famous of their Wawa's (east side of the state) and Sheetz (west side of the state). People from either side of the state will tell you one is better than the other. that means half of these fucks are fucks. can you guess which ones are which? if you said those in favor of Sheetz, congratulations! For Sheetz provides a clearly inferior product.

At no point in this debate does one need to consider anything other than the food and beverage side of the argument. For the most part, at least in my experience, both of these are gas stations that provide above average (like me!!) food selections. Both have push button sandwich technology made with fresh ingredients and that's pretty much where it stops.

Wawa just does it all better except for one thing. It's a big one thing. Sheetz only has the fact that they sell Mac and Cheese as a side dish and Wawa does not do this. I've never tried it before and even if it was the most disgusting mac and cheese in the world, I'd still give it props for having it to begin with. But that is where the positive stops.

Wawa has better sandwiches. Wawa has great ice-t and Wawa also has a make your own milkshake option. They have their amazing pretzels, amazing breakfast sandwiches and their all around awesomeness.

Sheetz does not. Go into a sheetz and order a turkey sandwich with cheese, bacon, lettuce, tomato and pickles. The bread will be crispy to the point where the crust flakes off, there will be two thin slices of turkey (assuming they remember to put it on the sandwich to begin with) the bacon will be cold and you will leave with the feeling that the leper who made your sandwich had a finger fall off whilst combining your ingredients for an all around subpar sandwich.

Wawa will give you a nice, fresh, soft roll with plenty of turkey to fill up the bread and the rest of the ingredients will overflow into a pile of deliciousness. There is no comparison.

So eff U western Pa.

Debate number 2:

When is she your girlfriend?

It's fun to give your friend shit when they think their casual relationship is taking a turn for the serious. It's even more to watch him writhe in agony as he tries to defend himself against the accusations.

He claims she is not his girlfriend. Others say she is. Let's examine the facts:

-They spend most nights together
-On some of these nights, they don't bone. They just sleep next to each other. Usually a dead give away in my book.
-She is enjoying Thanksgiving dinner with his family. This will be the first time she meets any of his family.

Pretty much, there is a strong case for why this is his girlfriend. These are all convincing situations where one could generally jump to the conclusion that she is a girlfriend...

But she isn't for one simple reason.

The talk.

Unless you've had the talk, you are not the girlfriend. I don't care if you've been boning for months, years, whatever. Without the talk, you're not the girlfriend. In fact, the doctor and I never had the talk. We went from casual hook up to engaged. true story. but don't ask her, she's in denial.

But in reality, I have to defend my two pump friend. Since the talk has never happened, she is not the gf. A relationship is entirely based on communication but without the talk, are you really communicating? Relationship experts, aka guys who've been dating the same girl for almost 8 years, will tell you that having the talk is the first serious conversation two people should have before they start officially boning. Without it, you're not committed...and that pretty much makes you a whore.

However should you decide to have the talk, you should pat yourself on the back. Along with the talk comes all the wonderful benefits of sitting out singles night, not grinding on the slutty hot chick at chief ikkies who won't remember any of it in the morning, or the bouquet tosses at weddings. You miss out on all that horrible shit.