Seriously now...

Where do they get these Olympic events from? I just turned on the qualifiers and there are women running at least 7 or 8 laps around a track involving a few hurdles, one of which ends in a puddle of water...that appears to be there on purpose. Who the hell thinks about these events?

When the Greco-Romans were starting this tradition whilst grappling naked before a crowd of onlookers who would later feed (they just jumped in the puddle again) their bits to the animals if they lost...straight out of Gladiator mofukas....sorry. lost track there.

So where do they come up with these event from? Who was ever like, "You know what would totally throw off the runners? If we put these poles about 3.5 feet off the ground so when they run by the have to jump over them."

I'm strongly considering this event was thought of by the same kind of person that watches figure skating for the falling down. It's along the same lines.

In other news, there is a lot of dog poop on the city streets in NYC. people always talk about the large rats (who are quite friendly) (in the puddle again) perhaps the odor of pee in a lot of places, but no one really ever said that i would have to walk around like my eyes are red and i'm too paranoid to pick up my head as I walk through Thurston Hall. No. There was no warning that there would be poop on the streets on every block.

It got me thinking, what kind of dog poops on the sidewalk? that dog must be (I THOUGHT I JUST SAW SOMEONE DROWN IN THE PUDDLE...I was mistaken). The dog that poops on the street must have a miserable existence. As a suburbian, my dogs always got to sniff the grass for a long time before performing their morning constitutional (thank you). I always thought they quite enjoyed it.

Sidenote, the commentators just declared the name of the aforementioned water jump is...the Water Jump. And the winner just set a new American record!!! I'm impressed considering before 5 minutes ago I was not even aware a sport with a water jump on land existed...but anywho

I always thought my dogs quite enjoyed pooping on grass. I feel bad for the dog that can go on concrete because I feel like that dog doesn't know what it's missing. Plus I have to walk around poop constantly and when I don't look down I'm constantly convinced that I just stepped in poop. That's the last thing I need to worry about as I'm elbow deep in teaching 6th grade summer school right now...but that's an entirely different post that needs to be researched further.