what it is what it is

i'm in a similar position that i was in about 3 weeks ago. it's 10:35 and 30 minutes ago, the lights started to flicker in the hallway. I guess they caught onto the extra 1 minute of power they were paying for and fixed the lights in my office because those bad boys dim exactly at 10:05 these days.

Here at the office I am. Missing a fantasy football draft I also am. However, I do get to hear a constant pounding on the ceiling since 9:00 am for they are now remodeling the 10th floor of my building. It's pretty sweet. For a while, the fire alarm faintly went off this afternoon. Then at 4:30 it went off for real and half of the building I work with just went home. Bastards. They've been home for the same amount of time I've been collecting OT tonight....which I guess isn't all that bad.

But it's 10:30 and and I have minimum 2 hours left to go tonight....and then I press the repeat button on the N64 and I'm back at the same schwag deal all over again tomorrow.

My recent struggle has been what it means to have a blog. I tell people I do and they kind of look at me like i'm a self absorbed asshole...and I think they're sort of right. After all, what do I talk about here? Ultimately, it comes back to what goes on around me...and that's not all that exciting since I'm currently lacking in the walking down the middle of a street booting left and right kind of story. All I am going with are my experiences and the dullness of them all.

Today we started bantering with the new kickball team...so I guess some of those rads might be checking this out...that could get interesting. Usually, I only like this thing shared when it's something that could scare people...sometimes I wish I had video of the night I destroyed Bert's house because that could serve as my token "Do not encourage the animals" video.

But I'm thinking I'm hitting that part of the night where delirium kicks in...yep. Has to be. Today I've heard Kanye's "Stronger" at least 6 times on the same radio station...I have Sirius at work and for $14 a month, I like it because there are a ton of stations but it'd be nice to hear Stronger less than twice per hour. I've been rocking this one station for the entire day and they've repeated many songs multiple times, but Stronger is the only one I've heard twice in an hour.

On nights where we stay late, we order food. When I stay, I usually order the food because it gives me a better chance of picking the style of cuisine we feast on that night and therefore I don't get stuck eating food from places that ought to be shut down. After 8 years in DC, I know that if a place is located on certain streets or the prices are too good to be true, it's because the dumplings are likely made of the pigeons that were scooped up in a bag off of K street earlier that morning...so I'll pass thank you on the restaurant that offers Pizza, Chinese food and kabobs...just a little too shady for me.

I was also thinking about my previous post about work diets and what not. I realized today that it took me about 2 years to condition myself to not have big lunches everyday. I used to rock the burrito or 3000 calorie salad or any other meal that would fill you up right. I forgot how hard it used to be to see noon or 1 on the clock and think that there was no way I was going to eat something small that day...and I remember the rationalizations I'd come up with, like I ran last night or I'm running this weekend, etc. It was really tough to get out of that mindset, but like the 3 year plan I had in my head, I had to commit hard to a goal and only hope I had the strength to achieve it.

So if you read that and doubt yourself, don't. Put the thought in the back of your head. Bring a small sandwich or salad to work and eat that. Give yourself 30 minutes after you finish and if you're still hungry, eat a granola bar or banana or something...just try to stay away from the calorie bombs.