I can't be held responsible for the things I say or write...


Now in Mercer County!!!

QP Live officially coming to you in Mercer County. We're down here covering the latest and greatest of events, a Prison Break fan club meeting!!!

Could you imagine if that was actually happening? I might have to end it all if I were really in one of those. I've never been "in a fan club" unless you count "laughing at how loud other people's music is" fan club. Like when you're sitting 4 rows in front of a person on a bus and your hear the music clear as day? Pretty bad for the ears from what I hear.

So it's back on the Bolt Bus for me...another venture to DC. Why am I coming to DC this weekend? Well, my wife left. She's gone to California to pursue some sort of career in...wait, she went to Vegas. Yeah, this won't work unless she went to Vegas. So she went to Vegas to pursue some sort of career as doctor/stripper. Honestly, I'm into it. First of all, who would I be if I didn't let her achieve her dreams. Second, who doesn't want an estranged wife who is a doctor/stripper. I mean, that is essentially two amazing paying jobs and I just have to sit back and accept that dudes who wear sweatpants in a desert allow my wife to rub up and down on them all day. I'm completely fine with that.

OH YOU GUYS!!! You know I was joking. I can't believe you believe any of that. It's unbelievable for you to believe what i was trying to get you to believe. She is just on vacation. Everything is great in married life. Couldn't be better. there is no gun to my head as I type this.

There is no gun to my head. Married life = working out...so far. I mean, well, I'm going to stop right here and talk about:

The Happening. Yes. I saw The Happening. Did you? It was not awesome. When I saw it was not awesome, I think I just saw the worst movie of my life. Some of you might know my extreme hatred for the movie "Terminal Velocity". That movie for about 13 years now is the worst movie I have ever seen in my entire life...and now I have to tell you I hate The Happening almost as much. Why almost as much if it was such a terrible movie? Well, it had Mark Wahlberg in it...and he talks to animals, so he's pretty cool.

Essentially, as I watched this movie, my friends and I kept laughing at how terrible the writing was. The Happening has Mark Wahlberg and John Leguizamo in it. How bad could it be, right? Holy shit it was awful. I think for getting his The Departed role, Wahlberg had to accept to do this piece of shit movie. Which means that M. Night Schlaamamammamamabad must in some way be boning Oliver Stone or his 80 hot daughters. Just awful. Countless times I kept asking random stiff from The Happening to tell their mother I said hi. Just terrible.

So what can I do to make myself feel better....well, I alluded to it a little early in the post but....do you know what time it is?????


You g-DAMN right it's Prison Break recap time.

So I've been going around asking the question to everyone I see, "Have you been keeping up with Prison Break" because EVERYONE BY NOW MUST BE WATCHING THIS SHOW. Some aren't...in fact, I found one person who was like, "Yes." and I was like "THaT'S AWEsoME!" So let us recap the previous 2 seasons first:

Break out of prison outside of Chicago in season 1. Season 2 is escape from America. Season 3 or maybe part 2 of season 2 is Escape out of prison in Panama.

Now, this season, we're breaking into a building in Los Angeles!!!!!!

That's right. We've gotten so good at breaking out that we have to be able to break in, right? RIGHT BITCH. So our season starts with Michael looking for Gretchen, Lincoln in Panama living the good life and The Company just not satisfied. So, they decide to go take out Lincoln, who can't be taken out. He kills the company henchman and gets arrested for it. At the same time, Michael has come back to Chicago to find Gretchen, and promptly gets arrested. Sucre and Bellick have teamed up after a Sona breakout down in Panama and also get arrested trying to see Mari Cruz and Sucre's kid. So everyone is back in jail. Oh yeah, Whistler gets shot in the head by this badass Company assassin and Mahone gets arrested after the badass Company assassin ("BCA") kills his kid and he comes home to see.

So everyone is in jail. Oh yeah, Dr. Sarah Tancready is alive...and they make a joke about it in the 2nd episode when she says, "Anything is possible, I mean I came back from the dead, right?" and snickers after saying it. God I love this show.

So everyone is arrested and Michael fucking Rappaport shows up as a Federal Agent hell bent on ending the Company. He has a little sweetheart deal: find Scylla (which is the Company's little black book) and hand it over. If so, everyone in the gang is free. If not, they're all going back to jail.

At this point, the only unaccounted for person is T-Bag. well, T-Bag finds his way to San Diego and assumes Whistler's false identity. WOW. Oh yeah. So Gretchen, Whistler and Mahone were working together to pass off Sylla. So we think they're all Company people in the beginning of the season. Turns out Whistler is working to bring down the Company and copies the card. Gretchen doesn't know about it but Mahone is working with Whistler. So, Company people figure it out and Whistler takes one in the head. Gretchen comes in to discuss and they beat the piss out of her for a while assuming she is working with Whistler. Mahone is off on his own and then picked up by the Feds as mentioned above.

So T-Bag comes with Whistler's bird book to San Diego and finds a shitload of money, a new ID and some other junk in a locker at a bus station. He goes to LA and assumes his identity at Gate Industries as their best salesmen in the world...ever.

Everyone else is on the same team with this video genius dude who created this device that can copy any piece of technology it gets within 10 feet of. So our episodes have been trying to find the different pieces of Scylla. You see, from The Illiad or The Odyssey, I don't remember which, Scylla is a six headed monster...so the Company's black book is in six pieces. So our episodes are finding the different card holders and getting them through elaborate plans.

We've had so ups and some higher ups because there are no downs on Prison Break. Right now, we've got 5 of the six, but our rad technology device was taken in Vegas when technology guru decided to use it on a slot machine like a douche chill..

Michael is having these weird nosebleeds all season and we don't know what they are...turns out when his mom was a kid, she had nose bleeds and they stopped. When she turned 31 they came back and that year she died of a brain tumor!!!!! GUESS WHO JUST TURNED 31!!!! and whose nose bleeds are back! YIKES.

That's meaningless to the overall plot.

so Gretchen eventually escaped the hold of the Company and T-Bag had to run out of Gate because this one dude figured out he was a fraud. While packing up what was Whistler's hideaway pad, Gretchen beats the shit out of T-Bag before they start working together. Sweeeeeet.

Turns out the bird book has this map in it, once you get the papers wet, that are actually blue prints needed to break into the Company's headquarters to access Scylla or something, it's not really that clear to me. But what is clear is that T-Bag is locked in an unknown room beneath Gate after Michael lures him down there and Mahone shows up and knocks the piss out of him. awesome plot turn.

Then Gretchen calls and says T-Bag better show up or she's going to destroy the book. All this over a book. They only have the first 77 pages of the book and she has the rest and they need it, I guess.

So that's where we're at. I think I'm out of Mercer County now, especially since this bitch took me almost 40 minutes to write.

OH yeah, the main reason I'm going to DC? To watch football at Adams Mill on sunday. There really is no replacement for that bar on Sunday, what with the antics, the discounts, the amount of football...and the nostalgia. Just a really good time. If anyone reads this over the weekend, that's where I'll be on Sunday from 1 until closing.

In conclusion, Prison Break is also Nomar Garciaparra's favorite show...so suck on that pop culture.


Holy geez

it's been a long time. It seems like I say that every time now and, well, I think I actually do. though to confirm that I would have to go back and check my sources, but I don't really know where I get my news from, so I can't really do that.

HIOOOOOOO!!! Political humor thrown in there!! Did you see it? Did you catch it? Sarah Palin can't read!!! She can't say what papers she reads because she can't! Stupid face.

Well, I actually don't care. I do wonder if she cares that most everyone just wants to see how much droopage we can expect though...right? I'm not alone in that, am I? I mean you have to wonder how entact she is after however many years of being her. I have no idea how old she is, I just laugh at the idea that if she were our vice president, I wonder how many political figures from other countries have pinups of her. Because everyone else is curious about that too. At least that's what I heard from my news sources. Zing.

So a lot has actually been going on. First of all, I have a new family member. Welcome to the world John Dylan "Don Vito" Quick. He was born in July and the dude has huge nutz. Check out the picture my mom camera phoned to about 1000 people right after he was born:

Yep, probably gonna get tapped for kiddie porn on that one...but it's my nephew and that shit is funny, so please don't punish me. This photo is ripe with comedy.

In other news, I decided during the Obama McCain debate to take notes, 1) because other people were in the room and 2) because I was drunk. Highlights include:

-In reference to ethanol, an all caps "FUCK YOU IOWA" for no apparent reason.

-McCain said "killing it" and my immediate question was does he mean it like white people mean killing it (i.e. negatively) or like black people mean killing it (Oh totally awesome)? It makes you wonder if McCain was doing some subtle street cred thing there.

-I also put a note in there saying "It's awesome how much they respect the moderator". Why? No idea. I just like these 2 dudes...no homo.

Lastly, I got to thinking, especially now that the weather is changing, that I am getting a little paranoid. I take my watch off when I walk through the hood (probably not a bad idea) but then I got to thinking about whether or not it's normal that I think the weather channel is following me around. I mean, they know for a fact that I don't give them any credit ever, whatsoever. I mean, they're wrong 98% of the time, and as a math teacher, I know how large of a number that is. Anyway, the really annoying thing is that when I first made it up to NY, the weather channel was pretty reliable. I hated the fact that in DC they were mostly wrong, usually about rain. Now, I think the fuckers found me because they've been calling for rain for days and nothing is happening. Damn weather channel following me around like I'm some sort of schitzo. My paranoia is not for you to play with as I have very real paranoia (ask Slebos) and I'm tired of thinking that even the weather channel is out to get me.

you sir, have lost a customer.